Freedom From Darkness

Be the Best Version of You

If you’re struggling from the effects of abuse you’re not alone. Biological responses to abuse include increased cortisol, adrenaline and epinepherine surges leading to insomnia, chronic pain, diabetes, high blood pressure, drug or alcohol addiction, CPTSD, agoraphobia, loneliness, anxiety or depression are all common side effects.

When friends or loved ones don’t understand or are too busy with their own lives one can feel absolutely paralyzed, isolated and alone. Finding a compassionate and educated coach specializing in the toxic dynamic of abuse and its effects can be a frustrating and time consuming challenge.

I have been in your shoes and I understand your struggle. I can help you find your way out of this dark place which for so many, is rooted in childhood abuse in the form of physical/emotional bullying, abandonment or neglect. I can teach you the art of mental toughness and how to battle the demons of unhappy, angry and abusive people.

So many of my clients suffered in silence and confusion for years with the shame surrounding physical and emotional symptoms of an unknown origin. For many, these ailments are now being directly linked to the debilitating effects of parental/familial narcissistic abuse. Noted authors such as Louise Hay and Pete Walker have stressed the correlation between toxic families, abuse and the toll the toxicity takes on the mind, body and soul of victims.

Let me help you heal. You deserve to be free to live the life you have always dreamed of!

A view of butterfly and the flowers

The proverbial bully is a lethal weapon of destruction, an emotional terrorist who affects every entity of a target’s life. The human body’s internal warning system will always react with dis-ease when threatened or abused. My passion is to help victims identify, understand and change their role in the toxic dance of abuse. In order to heal, it’s crucial to recognize the cycle and patterns of abusers in order to permanently diffuse the power of this predator. Make no mistake, abusers are predtors.

A view of the sea and the blue colored sky

Sometimes someone to talk to is all you need to walk with you through the darkness and out into the light. Someone to talk to can help show you that YOU are important to this world, YOU belong here, YOU have a purpose and YOU matter. Every living being has the right to live free from emotional assasins and to live free from the abuse, fear and pain they create. You deserve to live in peace so that you can be happy and confident to create, grow and flourish.

A beautiful view of snow-capped mountains

The degree to which you felt alone, isolated, abandoned and unloved as a child will correlate directly with the types of people you draw into your life and energetic experience as a teenager or adult. The response dynamics that take place within toxic relationships will either be 1) predictably chaotic with substance abuse relieving coping mechanisms or 2) passive aggressive non-communicative resentment filled tension. Do you recognize either of these coping strategies?

The susceptibility for becoming a victim of abuse is rooted in childhood. Mirror neurons emitted from a caregiver are crucial for healthy childhood development. Children are born pure and impressionable waiting to be given, through mirroring by their caregiver, the road map to life, love and a secure sense of self. Parental mirroring of a smile or approval to an infant or toddler is vital to thriving. When mirroring is toxic and corrupt the child will see this as their own internal flaws or lack of value and self-worth. If a parent scowls, neglects or rages at the child those mirror neurons will produce chemical changes within the child that lead to physical illness, pain and confusion in the child’s mind and body and will distort not only their self-image but their physical development as well. Mirror neurons produce in an infant’s body either very positive, growth enhancing hormones or very destructive and debilitating hormonal secretions. One leads to health and well-being and the other to chronic illness and depression.

Just like a caged or abused animal who depends upon their caretaker for food, shelter and water, in the face of abuse, the only option is compliance. Abuse creates deep feelings of inequity, separateness and injustice which secrete powerful toxins within the body. If you suffered abuse your instinctual survival mechanisms, your creative right to thrive and your physical development will be altered in an effort to stave off abuse. Abuse causes a person to abandon the needs of the self in order to appease the abusers rules for the purpose of basic survival.

Children count on their caregivers for honesty, fairness and reciprocity. When any of these elements are missing, a child will internalize that something is terribly wrong within themselves. This perception will be solidified by the behavior of the abuser and the child will then internalize this as fact. Trusting in the abusers can brutalize an otherwise happy and carefree child and will change their entire internal thought process and sense of belonging in order to stave off the parent’s negative perception and gain acceptance. The child will become anxious, fearful, bio-chemically dysregulated and function solely to secure love and kindness from the very people who were supposed to give it freely.

Compliance under these circumstances breaks down the spirit, the soul as well as the physical body which is the root cause of dis-ease within the body. One is unable to flourish or be creative if they’re simply trying to survive and avert the bullets and onslaught of verbal or physical abuse on a daily basis.

If you grew up in a home that was abusive your entire biochemical structure was altered from a very early age. Your body was flooded with fight or flight hormones in order to find a way to navigate the abuse whether verbal or physical of your caregivers be that parent, sibling, relatives or friends.

How A Person Becomes Susceptible to Abuse:

Young minds do not have the mental capability to process emotional trauma stemming from abuse. Babies are born innocent and pure and only know and desire to love and be loved. The reflection they see in their caregivers eyes will either water them to grow like a beautiful flower or cause them to shrivel in horror and terror and die inside like a wilting weed.

I can help you sort through events from the past that created a need to engage or stay in unfulfilling relationships or substance abuse.

Abuse has devastating consequences to the mind, body and soul. Most people who are being abused do not even recognize they are being abused. Abusers are skilled at fault finding and victims are unwitting sponges of this manipulation tactic, absorbing and believing they are at fault. Entire personalities are altered and subjugated solely to please the abuser in order to avoid abuse.

Black rocks and the blue color sea

Understand. Process. Heal. Thrive.

Adverse childhood experiences (ACE)such as sibling or parental abuse (physical or emotional) classmate or pier bullying, witnessing substance abuse by one or both parents and/or parental neglect can have crippling, confusing and devastating consequences on one’s physical and emotional well-being and can lead to CPTSD as well as a host of other illnesses.

This type of unresolved trauma/abuse is the number one cause of self-sabotage, insomnia, weight gain, depression, rage, anxiety and suicidal ideation.

Coaching sessions will allow you to feel safe and to be heard in order to unravel, understand, process, heal and move forward in your life. Despite having endured abusive and traumatic interpersonal relational abuse or painful adverse childhood experiences you can heal and you will heal. I feel confident I can help you feel safer and calmer.

I can show you how to turn your pain into healing fuel that will drive you to succeed.

If you are feeling crazy, confused, angry, or misunderstood you may currently be trapped in an abusive situation or suffering the effects of past ACE. Chronic abuse emotionally imprisons the abused victim through a process called trauma bonding (sweet/mean cycle) which releases hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline, epinephrine, norepinephrine and dopamine creating a hyper-adrenalized and dysregulated state within the central nervous system.

This is a miserable place to be. I have been there and I know how it feels.

Painful or repressed life experiences from childhood, denied by one’s parents using tactics of shame, secrecy, lies or fear of social isolation inflicts enormous stress on an individual. This chronic stress compromises the healthy biochemical development of the child and affects them both emotionally and physically most especially later in life as an adult.

Chronic, unresolved stress whether in childhood or adulthood releases pro anti-inflammatory chemicals which suppress the normal functioning capabilities of both the adrenal and immune system leading to a host of dis-ease within the body of a child or adult. This pent up or trapped energy must be purged from both mind and body in order to heal. Unresolved ACE as well as abuse in adulthood have been scientifically proven to be the root cause of many auto-immune illness, digestive disorders, chronic pain, alcoholism, and drug addiction. In addition, abuse creates a host of perceived mental health disorders which I can help you understand are merely the body’s normal reaction to abuse and stress.

My mission is to help survivors process and eliminate this confusion and pain. My goal is to help each person understand through the language and whispers within found within their own body what went wrong in childhood that led them to their current state of being. Our sessions will be devoted to processing and validating what happened in childhood so that one can live more fulfilling lives, unburdened with pain and resentment.

A view of the mountains on the foggy day

The act of abuse against an abused victim creates an internal, systemic wound filled with toxic, pain fueled tangible energy. The laws of physics and energy dictate for every action there must be a reaction. The limbic system is the foundation for all mental, physical and spiritual health.

The natural biological outcome of unexpressed abusive energy becomes that of both internal and external toxic manifestations.

The biological response to abuse manifests itself either internally or externally and can be seen in a myriad of dysfunctional and systemic malfunctions. In order to heal, the body and mind need both physical and emotional support. The trapped toxic energy of abuse must be identified, rooted out of the body through various modalities such as talk therapy/validation, yoga, diet and adrenal and limbic supplements. The origins and epigenetics surrounding the dynamic of abusers must be understood in order to be healed.

One need only look at their physical and/or emotional symptoms to see and root out where toxic abuse has housed itself within one’s body and mind. One of the most common physical symptoms of abuse is caused by muscle armoring.

During physical or verbal abuse the body tenses and the central nervous system goes on hyper alert dumping fight or flight hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol into the body in preparation for defense. As a result the body responds by tightening all muscles as well as the release of abnormal amounts of insulin to sustain defense. This innate response is designed by God to give flight and keep us safe from imminent danger such as being chased by a predator. However, a perpetual state of constant fight or flight is not sustainable on a daily basis without significant physical and mental consequences.

An overabundance of hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline and insulin in leads to weight gain, diabetes, nerve pain in which the nerves become frayed (almost as if one is being physically shocked with electricity) and fatigue related health issues such as CFS, EBV, Fibromyalgia just to name a few. Doctors tend to misunderstand the root cause is not a failing or aging body but rather an assault on the limbic system caused by an over stimulated central nervous system. Each of these illnesses stems from muscle armoring.

It is crucial to find someone to talk to who can help process painful and unresolved experiences of abuse so that the toxic energy can be eliminated and pave the way for healing.

Always remember to be kind to yourself and patient because healing is linear and takes time and patience. Through the use of additional healing modalities such as massage guided muscle relaxation therapy, swimming, breathing techniques, tapping, strength training, meditation, boxing, dietary changes including adrenal supplements healing will take place. Patience, understanding and time will nourish a compromised body and soul.

Healing from the effects of abuse will enable you to take your back. The power of your spirit’s life force has been stripped by the abuser’s tactics such as the smear campaign, denial, projection, gas lighting, triangulation, scapegoating, and cognitive dissonance. Learning how to withstand and defend against these assaults is key to healing.